Hello Everyone – For this first time my Mum didn’t call me ..

August 23rd, 2024

As I mentioned in my last post it was Mums and my birthdays coming up and now they have taken place.

For, the first time in my life my Mum did not call me and wish me a happy birthday and I know it should not have affected me but it did.  This was not because she did not call, as I know why, as I have mentioned her Dementia is progressing fast at the moment it was because I used to love her ringing me and singing happy birthday and quite frankly I have always loved her for her singing and it was something she has always done.

My Mum always used to wake my brother and I up each morning for school  with a song, she would come in our room singing, open the curtains and carry on singing until we had jumped out of bed.  We used to moan of course but secretly we loved it, when I left home I used to have my headphones on each night in bed and drift off to sleep (normally Kate Bush) and singing and music have been integral throughout my life and is still the case to this day.

I tried ringing my Mum throughout the day but unfortunately it kept going to voicemail so I did not even get to speak to her.

However, I did go to see her on her birthday the day before, I made her a coffee cake (her favourite), and as tradition she has a piece and I take the rest to the wonderful care team.

I want to thank the lovely carers  who suggested pressie ideas and I took up one of them and my Mum loved them so big thanks.

I wanted to tell that I know I am suffering from anticipatory grief and this became apparent to me when I was researching and writing the recent Understanding Loss and Grief workshop which without sounding big headed went down really well, we had eleven carers attend and the feedback was outstanding.  I do intend to repeat this workshop on a regular basis and if any carer wishes to attend please email wellbeing@ccth.org.uk to reserve a place.

I have copied this from the Marie Curie website because I think this captures what I am feeling.  I also realised as did other carers at the workshop that this is part of the caring role for many carers and we do worry about the future of our loved ones, we do our research on the illness or condition and have an understanding of the outcome be it short term or longer hence, anticipating our loss and grieving and it has impact.

Most of us think of grief as something which happens after a death.  In fact, grief can start a long time before someone dies, but this is often not acknowledged, talked about or even understood.

It’s completely normal to begin grieving before death, if you become aware that the person is going to die soon. When a loved one receives a terminal diagnosis, grief can begin right there and then.  All the feelings and thoughts experienced at this time can be just as intense and difficult as those after a death.

Other than attending the workshop I highly recommend connecting with other carers, I have done this lately and the support you get from others, the connection with others who just get it is a life saver.  Of, course I am going to promote the activities we provide because they are designed to help you have mental respite and help you to look after your emotional and physical health.

So, don’t be shy and come and drop in to one of our activities – check out the calendar to see what is on    https://ccth.org.uk/health-wellbeing/events-activities/


So, think about your wellbeing, connect with other carers who can support you, be proactive and try not to put off activities that help maintain better health and relax when you can.


A carer sent me this and I thank him …


Worried about your internet and Online safety?

Social media scams

 

You’re scrolling through Facebook messaging your friends and family.  It’s a really hot day and you  see an advert for an electric fan. Just what you need! But did you know, scammers pay for adverts on Facebook to sell their bogus products? Check out your scam spotting skills with this quiz from Which? and come along to our Savvy About Scams  workshop on 18th September to find out more.

 

If you’d like to hear more about how to spot dodgy text messages, emails and other scams, join our next scams workshop on Wednesday 18th September 

email wellbeing@ccth.org.uk to book your place


 

Next Shared Reading  – Monday’s from 11.15am to 12.15pm 

Shared reading is a popular group where carers are read a story and they then have the chance to debate the characters, storylines and how the story makes them feel.  So, come along and have a little mental respite.

Don’t for get Sharron is rambling for better mental health as mentioned last week this years Mental Health Awareness is movement as it has been proven that exercise, walking and as we know being with others improves wellbeing so, either come for the shared reading and carry on afterwards and ramble or just join the ramble at 12.30pm and this all takes place at the Carers Centre and off you go.

Arts, Crafts & Conversation – every Thursday from 11am to 1pm

Come and learn a new craft like sewing, knitting and much much more but a great part of the experience is meeting other carers where you can have a good long natter


Next Week’s Activities – check out https://ccth.org.uk/health-wellbeing/events-activities/


Prevent fires, watch the new ChargeSafe e-bike animation

We continue to tackle e-bike and e-scooter battery fires with the launch of a new safety animation, created in partnership with London Fire Brigade, that will be made available with councils across the country.

The animation demonstrates how to spot the signs of a faulty battery, how to safely shop for e-bike batteries, how to prevent fires, and what to do in the case of a fire.

Watch here >


New website with free activities for youth

Young Tower Hamlets is hosting a variety of free activities across the summer for young people aged 11 to 19 or up to 25 with SEND.

Activities include fun days, trips out to Thorpe Park, escape rooms, picnics, arts and crafts, water fights and more.

All of this and more can be found on our new dedicated website.

New website >



 

This program offers a fantastic opportunity to gain real-world experience across a variety of roles within the industry. Vacancies are available in Social Media, IT, Events, and more!

 Whether you’re interested in tech, digital, creative, customer-centric, or data-driven roles, there’s something for everyone.

 You’ll have the chance to:

  • Work on real briefs and projects for real clients.
  • Be part of a dedicated team.
  • Gain valuable skills and experience.
  • Receive additional training and mentorship.

 

There are 8 roles available to apply for, and further details including how to make an application can be found on the website link below:

 

Havas Internship Programme




No Place for Hate image

What is a hate crime?

Hate crime is any criminal offence where anyone believes the victim has been targeted because of their:

  • disability
  • race or ethnic identity
  • religion/belief
  • gender or gender identity
  • sexual orientation
  • age
  • immigration status or nationality
  • or any other actual or perceived difference.

Hate crime behaviours can include

  • physical attacks – pushing and shoving to serious assaults
  • verbal abuse – using derogatory or insulting words
  • threatening behaviour, bullying and intimidation
  • damage to property – including offensive graffiti
  • harassment
  • malicious communications – threatening or offensive mail, texts or emails
  • damage to property and violence
  • hate can also be directed at whole communities – for example, vandalism of places of worship, or offensive graffiti in public places.

Hate incidents

Are incidents that do not constitute a criminal offence but cause alarm, distress or harassment where anyone believes the victim has been targeted because of their race/ethnicity, religion/belief, gender/gender identity, disability, age, sexual orientation or any other actual or perceived difference.

For more information and how to report hate crimes visit www.towerhamlets.gov.uk/hatecrime

Our Hate Crime Manual with a Directory of support services is available via this link  Tower Hamlets Hate Crime Manual.

Remember an attack on one section of our community is an attack on us all.


The importance of a break

We know all too well how challenging a full-time caring role can be, so a few days away with a partner or a friend can work wonders. It may seem like a small thing but our experience shows us that it can make a huge difference. Read a book, go for a walk, or simply catch up on some sleep. Whatever you choose to do, you’ll return home with a whole new outlook on things, refreshed and rejuvenated.

How it works

There are hundreds of potential breaks away listed on Carefree’s Breaks Hub. After registering with us, unpaid carers can browse available options and submit a request for a specific hotel on specific dates. If available, a confirmation email will be sent to you and you’re all set to go!

If the break request is rejected, we’ll give you access again to the Breaks Hub and you can select a different option.

New hotels and dates are added all the time, so if you can’t quite find what you’re looking, check back in in a few weeks.

ACCOMMODATION
Our hotels donate 1-2 night breaks, plus breakfast where possible for a carer and their companion (adult or child). Twin or Double room.

We are currently seeking new partnerships for longer stays that will become available in due course.

COSTS
There is no charge for the accommodation, but you are responsible for all other costs (transport, food, travel insurance etc.) and there’s a £33 admin fee to help with the cost of operating our charity.  This payment is for one break per year.

CARE-FREE
The short breaks initiative is designed to give you some time away from your caring responsibilities. You are welcome to take a companion with you but not the person that you care for. If you want to travel alone, that’s fine too.

MAKING A BREAK REQUEST
After you have selected a break of your choice and paid the admin fee we will do a final booking confirmation check with the hotel. Occasionally a hotel will reject a booking request. When this happens we will let you know, and then you will be able to request another break.

ELIGIBILITY
To qualify for a break you must be:

  • Aged 18 or over
  • Full-time unpaid carer (30+ hours per week)

Please note: in order to take a break with us, carers must be able to arrange interim care and pay for extras (admin fee, transport, food, travel insurance etc.)

if you would like to be referred then get in contact with the centre team 

Mental Health - image of two faces

Good mental health and wellbeing starts with you

Everyday Londoners are doing what they can to support themselves and others with good mental health – whether checking in with a mate at the school gates, inviting a neighbour over for a cup of tea and a chat, or bonding with a customer at the barber shop.

 

But conversations around mental health are difficult. The Mayor of London has launched a campaign in support of Londoners who champion positive mental health – in their families, places of work or their communities.

By signing up Londoners will get access to training opportunities, tools and other offers straight to their inbox to help them navigate these conversations with confidence and compassion.

Mental health and wellbeing support in London | London City Hall


Domestic Abuse & Violence Numbers

Refuge: 24 hours, 7 days a week – Tel: 0808 2000 247


Image of food bank donation ox

Food Banks Information

What you need to know

With the cost of living crisis affecting communities nationwide, the London Borough of Tower Hamlets have shared information on accessing your local FOOD Stores and tips on managing your food bills.

Tower Hamlets FOOD Stores

A number of FOOD stores have been set up across the borough, supporting those who are finding it difficult to afford enough food for themselves or their families.

At these FOOD stores, you are able to pick up food valued at £25-£35 in exchange for a £3.50 membership fee. At the same time, support is provided in other areas that you might need help with. This includes help with issues around

  • housing
  • benefits access
  • employment and more.

To find out more or to become a member email thefoodstore@towerhamlets.gov.uk with your name, address, postcode, date of birth and contact number.

Foodbanks

There are a number of food aid organisations available to help you in Tower Hamlets if you are struggling to get food for yourself or your family. Scroll down to see where your closest branch is located. Different food aid services will offer different support.

Types

  • Open Access – A food bank that anyone can go to for food.
  • Limited Access/referral only – A Food bank that needs someone to refer you into the service. Please contact the organisation for more details.
  • School food provision – A food bank or food aid service that specifically works with students and parents who attend the school.
  • Hot meals service/Hostel – Provides hot meals or pre-made goods to residents.

Underwood Road Foodbank – (Open Access)

Opening times: Thursday and Friday, 9am – 3pm

St Anne’s Catholic Church, E1 5AW

Contact: 020 7247 7833 or email underwoodroad@rcdow.org.uk from Tuesday to Friday (9am – 3pm)

Ensign Youth Club – (Open Access)

Opening times: Friday 10am – 1pm

Wellclose Sq, E1 8HY

Contact: info@ensign.org.uk

Hague Primary School

Opening times: Monday – Friday 8.40am – 3.40pm

Hague primary school, E2 0BP and E1 5RE

For more information please ask at the school office.

Stewart Headlam Primary School

Opening times: Monday – Friday 8.40am – 3.40pm

Tapp St, London, E1 5RE

For more information please ask at the school office.

Wellington Primary School – Food bank (limited access/by referral only)

School food provision (Pupils and families only)

Opening times: Tuesday 2 – 3pm

Wellington Way, Bow, E3 4NE

Contact: admin@wellington.towerhamlets.sch.uk

St Elizabeth Pop Up Kitchen – School food provision (pupils and families only)

Opening times: 3.40 – 5pm

St Elizabeth Primary School, entrance on Waterloo Gardens, E2 9JY

For more information please visit St Elizabeth School website / Caritas Twitter page.

Bygrove School – School food provision (pupils and families only)

Opening times: Monday – Friday (Term Time Only)

Bygrove street, E14 6DN

For more information please visit the Bygrove School website.

Langdon Park School – School food provision (pupils and families only)

Opening times: Monday – Friday 8am – 4pm

Bright Street, London, E14 0RZ

For more information please ask at the school office.

Dorset Community Food Hub – (Open Access – Hot meals service)

Opening times: Thursday

Ground floor, former Dorset library, E2 8QX

For more information please visit the Dorset Community website.

Olga Primary School Foodbank – School food provision (pupils and families only)

Opening times: Friday 3.20 – 3.45pm

Olga Primary School, E3 5DN

Contact: 020 8981 7127

Edward Gibbons House – (Hostel)

Opening times: 24 hours

1 Parmiter St, E2 9NG

For more information please visit Providence Row website.

Globe Primary School – (Open Access)

Opening times: Friday 12 – 3.15pm

Globe Primary School, E2 0JH

For more information please visit Globe Primary School website.

Food for Aldgate – (Limited access/by referral only)

Opening times: Friday 1 – 3pm

Tonybee Hall, 28 Commercial Street, London, E1 6AB

Contact: Paul.wilson@eastendhomes.net or Twitter @FoodForAldgate.

Womens Inclusive Team – (Limited access/by referral only)

Opening times: Appointment provided after referral

Mayfield House 202 Cambridge Heath Road, E2 9LJ

Contact: 07415 372 664 or email shakilaa@wit.org.uk.

William Davis Food Bank – School food provision (pupils and families only)

Opening times: Friday 2 – 3pm

William Davis School, E2 6ET

Contact: 020 7739 1511

Bow Food Bank – (Open Access)

Opening times: Monday 8am – 12.30pm

Bromley by Bow Centre, St Leonard’s Street, E3 3BT

For more information please visit the Bow Food Bank website.

Bethnal Green Foodbank – (Open Access)

Opening times: Wednesday 2 – 7pm

Raines Foundations School, Approach road, E2 9LY

For more information please visit Bow Food Bank website.

Bow Muslim Cultural Centre – (Open Access)

Opening times: Friday 11am – 3pm

246 Bow Road London, E3 3AP

Contact: info@bowcentralmosque.co.uk

SACC Food Bank – (Limited access/by referral only)

Opening times: Thursday and Friday 10am – 3pm

St Anne’s Catholic Church, E1 5AW

Contact: braziliancp@rcdow.org.uk or 020 7247 7833.

Referrals can be discussed by email or contact number.


A carers guide to home fire safety

A new video resource has been launched on the London Fire Brigade website to help carers learn how to keep people that receive care safe from fire.

Sadly, around one third of those here who die or are severely injured by fire are in receipt of some form of care or support. If you are a formal (domiciliary care worker, support worker or clinician) or informal carer (family member, friend or neighbour) and are caring for someone in their own home, this new resource will help you identify fire risks and show you what you can do to reduce them. There is also more information available on the website around fire safety and prevention.

Watch the video >


Women's safety image; hand holding placard saying "Women's safety"

WALKING ALONE? REMEMBER THESE 10 TIPS

1) Plan Your Route

Make sure you plan your route ahead of time. If you are walking in an area you are not familiar with, this can help keep you from getting lost. You will be able to walk with confidence. If you do get lost, don’t wander aimlessly, find a gas station, supermarket, or fast-food restaurant where you can ask for directions.

2) Make Sure Someone Else Knows Your Plans

Don’t go out when it is dark without telling someone, even if you are just taking the dogs out for a walk around your neighbourhood or walking home from a friend’s house nearby. It may seem paranoid, but in fact, knowing someone knows where you are can be reassuring and help you feel safe. If you fall and hurt yourself or run into trouble, and someone knows where you are, they can send help if you don’t arrive at your destination on time.

3) Always Carry Your Phone with You

Always carry your phone, but not for music or to make social calls as your walk. Your phone can be a lifeline if you see something suspicious or worse if something happens to you. Download a safety app on your phone, so you’ll be able to discreetly alert the authorities if you feel threatened or see something suspicious.

4) Avoid Suspicious People and Areas

Areas that are dark, deserted, or out-of-the-way, such as an alley or a parking lot, can be riskier than a well-lit area full of people. Stick to busy, lighted paths, to minimize the risks. Also, walk mainly in familiar places where you are known. That way, if you feel like a suspicious person is following you, you can always duck into a store you know or knock on a neighbour’s door. Avoid empty streets and pathways with thick shrubbery.

5) Keep Your Hands Free

Except for a flashlight and one of the items discussed below, keep your hands free. If you are carrying anything, put it all in one bag or backpack. This will make it easier for you to react if you notice someone following you. In a dangerous situation, carrying too many bags can keep you from moving as quickly as you can if your hands are free or if you only have one bag.

6) Carry a Non-Violent Deterrent

In addition to a flashlight,  A whistle will help you alert others and call them to aid you if something is wrong. The loud noise may put off attackers, and they’ll move on to find someone else. Mace or pepper spray can give you enough time to evade a potential attacker, and in a pinch, a flashlight can be used as a weapon. Make sure you know how to use the mace or pepper spray to get its full effect.

7) Wear Reflective Clothing to Prevent Accidents

When it comes to personal safety, it’s not just about suspicious people. Areas with low visibility can be prone to accidents. Reflective clothing allows bikers and cars to see you as you walk along. A flashlight or headlight can also help drivers see you if there are dark stretches of road on your route.

8) Take a Self-Defence Class

When fighting off something as an assault, the element of surprise can work in your favour. If you regularly walk alone, take a self-defence class. You don’t have to become a black belt. In fact, it’s probably better to learn something like Krav Maga, which has been popular for self-defence. The idea is to disable your attacker enough for you to get to safety, and a class focused on self-defence will help give you those survival skills.

9) Remove Any Distractions

Keep your phone in your hand in case you need to hit the panic button on your safety app, but don’t let it distract you. When walking alone at night for exercise, music can be motivating and energizing but also distracting. You may not hear someone driving or walking up behind you. Avoid wearing headphones or talking on your phone as you walk.

10) Trust Your Gut

When walking alone at night, trust your gut. If you feel like an area or situation may be dangerous, don’t wait around to find out. Stop and scan your surroundings if you think someone is following you. If you are being followed, walk as quickly as you can to a well-lit public place. You can wait until you feel safe, or call a friend, a taxi, or an Uber to help you get safely get home at night.

Following these personal safety tips will help keep you stay safe when walking alone. Always be aware of where you are and alert to suspicious activity.