Counselling: It Works for All of Us… If You Help Us

Over the years, I have spoken to hundreds of carers, and one thing I can tell you with complete confidence is this: caring can be wonderful, rewarding, meaningful and loving. It can also be exhausting, overwhelming, frustrating, isolating and, at times, heartbreaking.

Many carers spend so much time looking after someone else that they forget to look after themselves.

Sometimes caring responsibilities change suddenly. A diagnosis arrives that nobody was expecting. A loved one’s condition deteriorates. Relationships change. Financial pressures mount. Family dynamics become complicated. And for some carers, there comes the additional challenge of bereavement and learning how to move forward after the person they cared for has died.

That is why counselling is such an important part of the support we offer at Carers Centre Tower Hamlets.

Counselling provides a safe, confidential space to talk openly with a trained professional. There is no judgement, no pressure and no expectation that you have to “keep going” or “stay strong” all the time.

Many carers tell us that counselling helps them:

• Manage stress and anxiety
• Cope with difficult emotions
• Process grief and bereavement
• Develop practical coping strategies
• Build resilience
• Improve confidence
• Feel heard and understood
• Find a way forward when life feels overwhelming

Counselling cannot remove every problem, but it can help you develop the tools, techniques and coping strategies to deal with challenges more effectively and regain some control when life feels difficult.

We are incredibly fortunate to have Robin, our highly qualified and experienced counsellor. Robin has extensive knowledge of caring, disability and bereavement and understands many of the challenges carers face every day. Robin also supports and mentors counselling students as they complete their professional training, helping to develop the next generation of counsellors.

I am also pleased to share that we have a new counselling student, Michelle, joining us next week. This means we will be able to offer even greater flexibility, including additional support for carers who may prefer to work with a female counsellor.

Alongside Robin and Michelle, we are also supported by Peter, one of our dedicated volunteer counsellors. Peter has his own experience of being a carer and now generously gives his time to help others who may be facing similar challenges. We would like to say a heartfelt thank you to Peter for everything he does for our carers.

However, I would also like to have an honest conversation.

As you can imagine, demand for counselling is extremely high. We currently have a significant waiting list, and there are many carers waiting for the opportunity to access support.

We completely understand that caring can be unpredictable. Hospital appointments happen. Emergencies occur. The person you care for may suddenly need your support. Life gets in the way, and sometimes attending a counselling session simply is not possible.

What we are struggling with, however, is when carers do not attend their appointment and do not let us know beforehand.

When this happens, we have qualified counsellors sitting with empty appointment slots while other carers remain on waiting lists desperately hoping for support. Quite simply, those appointments could have been offered to someone else who needed them.

So, when requesting a counselling place, we ask carers to make three commitments:

1. Commit to the counselling process

Counselling works best when you attend regularly and actively engage with the support being offered.

2. Let us know if you cannot attend

If something happens and you cannot make your appointment, please contact us as soon as possible. Even a short phone call or email can make a huge difference.

3. Understand that repeated non-attendance affects other carers

Where someone repeatedly fails to attend appointments without notice and without a genuine reason, we may not be able to offer further counselling appointments. This is not about punishment. It is about fairness to the many carers waiting for support.

The reality is that we could fill our counselling appointments many times over. Our responsibility is to ensure that these valuable sessions are used effectively and that carers who want support can access it.

My role as Wellbeing Manager is to look after the wellbeing of all carers, and that means making difficult decisions sometimes to ensure our services are fair, accessible and sustainable.

The good news is that counselling really does help. Every year we see carers who arrive feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and unsure how they will cope. Through counselling, many develop new strategies, renewed confidence and a sense that things can get better.

If you are struggling, please know this:

You do not have to carry everything on your own.

There is support available.

There is somebody who will listen.

And even when things feel particularly difficult, there can still be a light at the end of the tunnel.