Hello Everyone – Peer Support means support ….
One of the aims of the Carers Centre via the Academy is to promote connection through our Peer Support Groups, Creative sessions and specialist hubs. So following on from my post on Friday i wanted to highlight that this week we have the final show from our African Dance Class, The Final Show so come and support your fellow carers who have worked so hard and are excited to show you their learning.
Wouldn’t it be great to show other carers how much you value other carers, as I know they would for you… So I look forward to seeing some of you at the Carers Centre on Wednesday 26th at 1pm and do not forget you can bring your loved ones, children on half term and anyone who wants to see a good show.
I say this as my Sister is back to normal-ish and was back on caring duty, and really thank goodness for that, the last two weeks have been hard, tiring and I need her support, in the same way as she needs mine. We really have become even more close, not just the physical aspect of caring but the emotional side and being siblings, peers with our caring role we have become a great team, sharing our skills and strengths and being there for the skills we do not have, I am not saying weaknesses as I feel that is not the right word.
So, as I always say, you need people, family, friends and do not forget all the groups at the centre, each week so that you can become part of another amazing family.
African Dance Class – Black History Month – The Big Show
Wednesday 26th October is the show where carers will show off their moves and learning with our experienced professionals and we are inviting you to come and watch, bring your cared for’s, children as it is half term and have some fun watching dance. 1pm onwards for more information email audrey@ccth.org.uk and book your seat
So have a positive and lovely week, look after yourselves, so you can care for others.
Don’t forget ……..
Time to Move – Mondays 1.45pm to 2.45pm
This weekly movement with dance activity, is an excellent way to get your body moving, be with others, have fun, doing it sitting down if needed but most importantly take time out to move, time out of your caring role as doing exercise be it gently can help benefit your emotional wellbeing, reduce the risk of Diabetes, keep you supple and stop your body from getting stiff.
Come and have some fun and join in with our wonderful teacher – Charlie as she is here to help.
This Week’s Activities
Always Check out the https://ccth.org.uk/new/calendar/ for fun, activities, workshops and treatments
Don’t Forget to Get your Jabs – it makes sense to protect yourself so you can protect the person/s you care for……
Ways to Deal With the Family Bully.
Warning Signs of Family Bullying
Adults’ bullying tactics are more subtle, manipulative, and controlling than those children use. Bullying tends to happen more slowly over time through small actions and words.2
Experiencing this type of behaviour can be confusing and cause you to doubt your perceptions. You may even question your memory or your judgment. It can be helpful to write down bullying incidents, including how they made you feel. Doing so will help you recognize that what you’re experiencing is real and not something you’re imagining.
Recognizing the signs of bullying involves looking at how your interactions with the other person make you feel. If you feel hurt, confused, frustrated, misunderstood, anxious, worthless, or like you’re walking on eggshells any time you interact with this person, chances are high that you’re being bullied.
A family member who is bullying you may:
- Have unrealistic expectations or make unreasonable demands
- Blame you when things go wrong
- Invalidate your thoughts and feelings by undermining, minimizing, or dismissing you or your thoughts
- Create chaos in your life by starting arguments, nit picking, or making contradictory statements
- Use emotional blackmail as a way to control you or make you feel guilty
- Act superior or condescending and attempt to one-up you or prove you wrong
- Make jokes at your expense or be sarcastic and demeaning in their interactions
- Cut you down or exaggerate your weaknesses and flaws as a way to make you feel inferior
- Accuse you of being selfish, needy, or not committed to the family
- Give you the silent treatment or attempt to get other family members to turn against you or shun you
If these things are happening in your family, it’s normal to feel that your power is being diminished. You also may feel like your emotional or mental health is suffering due to the bullying.
If that is the case, it’s time to start questioning the health of the relationship. Not only should you consider limiting your contact with this family member, but you also may want to get outside help such as a counsellor or a mental health professional to help you learn how to interact and cope with this family member.
How to Respond to Family Bullying
If you are being bullied by a family member, there are steps you can take to end the behaviour or protect yourself from its effects. Most importantly, look for an ally (within or outside of the family) to support you through this difficult experience.
Assert Yourself
Anytime someone bullies you, it’s important that you learn how to stand up for yourself. Being assertive means that you are honest about how you feel without acting aggressively, engaging in name-calling, or being a bully yourself. Be specific about the problem without getting emotional.
But be prepared for the bully to challenge your perceptions or tell you that you are being unrealistic, selfish, or too sensitive. It’s important not to own these accusations; they are just another attempt to control you or manipulate the situation.
Try to say something like: “We are not talking about my emotions right now. We are discussing your behaviour.” Then, restate your point.
- Use I statements like “I think” or “I feel” instead of phrases like “You always” or “You never.”
- Maintain a positive body stance, which means making eye contact, standing up straight, and keeping your face neutral.
- Rehearse what you want to say with someone you trust, like a friend or a counsellor.
- Refrain from discussing negative emotions and feelings and focus on being honest, direct, and straightforward.
Also, be prepared for the fact that the person bullying you may not respond how you had hoped. Things may not improve at all, but at least you have stood up for yourself and shared how you feel.
Establish Boundaries
It’s important to create firm boundaries between you and the bully. If a family member is bullying you:
- Know your limits and your values. These realizations will help you develop appropriate boundaries. For instance, maybe you don’t mind a few jokes or occasional teasing, but you draw the line at name-calling.
- Listen to your emotions and feelings. Take some time to think about how your family member’s actions make you feel. These feelings and emotions will provide you with clues on what you want to change or what you can no longer tolerate.
- Value yourself and your needs. Don’t feel guilty about setting and enforcing boundaries. Your wants and needs are valid and so are your feelings. You don’t have to tolerate bad behaviour just for the sake of the family
- Make self-care a priority. When you establish boundaries, you are taking care of your emotional, physical, and mental health. There is nothing wrong with that. Establishing boundaries with someone who is prone to bullying helps you make caring for yourself a priority.
- Be direct and clear about your expectations. You may need to practice beforehand, but make sure that when you share your boundaries, you are direct and to the point. Be specific about the behaviour that bothers you and then let the bully know that you are not going to tolerate it any longer.
- Communicate consequences if your boundaries are crossed. Once you have established a boundary, such as “I feel hurt when you call me names and I am not going to accept that treatment,” communicate a consequence. So you might follow with, “The next time you call me names, I am going to end our conversation.”
- Honour your commitment to the boundaries. It’s very important that you follow through on your boundaries. You can give a warning if you want by saying something like, “Please stop calling me names. If you continue, I am going to leave.”
- Recognize that you are in charge of your boundaries. This means you can change them if you want. If you find that a boundary is not working for you or it’s too difficult to enforce, then by all means change it. Boundaries are for your benefit and you may need to tweak them from time to time to make sure they still fit your needs.
- Be prepared for some resistance. Many times, a family bully will test your boundaries to see if you are serious. Be prepared for this to happen and plan how you are going to handle it. The bully may try to use guilt or manipulation by calling you controlling. Ignore these accusations; they are just another attempt to manipulate the situation. Your mental and emotional health is important and there is nothing wrong with taking steps to protect yourself.
Carer’s Leave Bill passes first crucial step towards landmark new right
We are delighted to report that Wendy Chamberlain MP’s Private Member’s Bill, which would introduce up to a week of unpaid Carer’s Leave, has today passed its Second Reading in the House of Commons as well as securing the Government’s formal support. This legislation, if successful in its passage through both Houses of Parliament, would see employees across Great Britain get a landmark new right to take up to one week of unpaid Carer’s Leave.
Thank you to all who have supported the Bill. This is a fantastic result which could not have happened without the support of over 57 cross-party Parliamentarians and over 130 organisations around the country coming together to back this Bill. If you haven’t already done so, please click here to sign up to join our campaign if you or your organisation would like to support the Bill.
The next step for the Bill will be Committee Stage and we will be in touch with further details as soon as we have confirmed dates for this.
Festivities to mark the centenary of Bethnal Green Library
Residents recreated a landmark photograph taken 100 years ago to mark the opening of Bethnal Green Library. The photo will hang alongside the original to mar the celebration.
The much-loved library opened its doors on 13 October 1922, had a memorable photograph taken on opening day with huge crowds outside the building.
Read more >
Design a Christmas card competition 2022
With the festive season fast approaching, the mayor is calling on talented young creatives to create colourful designs for the our annual corporate Christmas cards.
Primary school age artists are encouraged to be inventive and draw, paint or collage a card with a seasonal and borough theme. Designs should be submitted by email by 2pm on Tuesday, 8 November.
How to enter >
TH LGBT+ Forum Survey: Experiences of LGBT+ Black people and People of Colour in Tower Hamlets
Click on this link to complete the survey online: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/PV6GNWY
Are you LGBT+ and live, work, study or socialise in Tower Hamlets? Your feedback about your experiences of safety in Tower Hamlets is valuable to us.
The language and terminology of ‘Black people and people of colour’ is used to include Black people and those who are ‘non-white’. This includes those with African, Middle Eastern and North African, Latin American, Caribbean and West, Central, East and South Asian heritage.
Please note: As we do not ask for your name, this survey is anonymous. The survey is aimed at those who are LGBT+ and live, work, study or socialise in the borough of Tower Hamlets. Please only complete this if this applies to you.
For more information please email us on lgbtforum@elop.org. Deadline: End of October
Six new FOOD Stores to tackle poverty
Six new food pantries are being launched by Tower Hamlets Council to tackle poverty and support residents through the cost of living crisis.
In partnership with national charity Family Action, the FOOD Store project aims to provide affordable quality food.
Find out more >
Careful with your washing
You can save around £34 (£16 in NI) a year from your energy bill just by using your washing machine more carefully:
- Use your washing machine on a 30-degree cycle instead of higher temperatures.
- Reduce your washing machine use by one run per week for a year.
Important Numbers:
Domestic Violence Duty Line: 020 7364 4986 between 9am – 5pm.Victim Support: 020 7364 2448/7957
Tower Hamlets Connect/Adult Social Care : 0300 303 6070
When you have some minutes spare, you want to stay cool and listen to my soothing voice….
Listen to the Carers Ignite PODCAST – New One Coming Soon
Why not listen to The Carers Centre Podcast – This is our first podcast and we are pleased with it. A couple of carers approached me to ask if we could broaden our social media and develop a podcast for carers, made by carers and supported by the centre. We approached Graham our Chief Exec and he was all for it and gave the green light and thanks to Chandrika and her producer skills and the wonderful Lloyd who is the co-host with myself we developed our first podcast.
We discuss being a male carer, barriers to men seeking support, carers wellbeing while having a laugh and fun. We will be producing further podcasts and welcome stories/themes and guests to email me tony@ccth.org.uk
https://ccth.org.uk/new/information/carers-ignite/
| Launch of Somali National Helpline 0800 6102020 |
Better Safe Communities are pleased to inform you of the launch of the first historic Somali National Helpline, sponsored by the local businesses up and down the country and in regards to poor service provisions of UK public services for Somali communities nationally.
The Helpline was founded by Khadra Hersi, a student of London Met University. It is aimed at the Somali community, helping with language barriers, immigration, and mental health issues due to war in their country. The Somali National Helpline are a service that uses professionals to support people overcome issues they are facing. They exist to support individuals with language matters, mental health issues, and beneficiaries to solve their problems. They also provide translating and interpreting services. They are here to support and advocate for many problems faced within the Somali community such as young adults suffering from knife crime, and elderly people who feel isolated and lonely due to language barriers.
Why do you need a Lasting Power of Attorney?
Does the person you look after making their own decisions but want help managing their money? Maybe they can make their own decisions now but want an arrangement in case they can’t in the future. Without a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) your family may need to go to Court. This can cause lots of hassle, delay, and expense.
There are 2 types of Lasting Power of Attorney; finances & property matters and decisions about health and care.
Why should you do it now?
- 1 in 3 of us will suffer dementia
- Many of us will retain mental capacity, but will physically struggle to manage our affairs at some point in our life
- Being married or asking your chosen person to act for you is not enough – you need to legally give them the power to help you
- If you leave making your Power of Attorney until you need it, it will be too late.
Carers Centre Partners
The Carers Centre Tower Hamlets is pleased to work in partnership with respected Law firms to provide carers with affordable support with LPA.
Jones Whyte are a Glasgow based multi award winning Solicitor firm and the reigning Law Firm of the Year 2021
- They prepare thousands of Powers of Attorney every year
- Have partnerships with many major national charities
- They offer competitive Power of Attorney fees £349 + vat
Carers Centre staff can refer you, or you can contact them yourself on 0330 175 1234 or email appointments@joneswhyte.co.uk
You can find our more about Jones Whyte here Power of Attorney – Solicitors Glasgow | Jones Whyte Law
Duncan Lewis Solicitors – “We believe in access to justice for the most vulnerable in society and do everything we can to ensure legal advice and support is available for those who need it most”.
Duncan Lewis Solicitors are a national firm with offices locally.
- They prepare thousands of Powers of Attorney every year
- They are available for face-to-face appointments at their local office (1 Kingsland High Street, Dalston, Hackney, London, E8 2JS) or surgeries at the Carers Centre if requested
- They offer competitive Power of Attorney fees £350 + vat
Carers Centre staff can refer you, contact us on 0207 790 1765 or at enquiries@ccth.org.uk
You can find out more about Duncan Lewis here https://www.duncanlewis.co.uk
Most solicitor firms support with LPA and carers are under no obligation to use either firm listed above and are free to seek support from any firm they choose.
What is I do not want to pay for support with LPA?
We also provide workshops and information for those who want to set up an LPA themselves, many people set up LPA without legal support. You can check our Calendar or give us a call for updates on our latest workshops.
You can also see the information links below for information.
Different ways to manage someone’s affairs
Call us on 0207 790 1765 or email enquiries@ccth.org.uk to find out more about LPA.
A carers guide to home fire safety
A new video resource has been launched on the London Fire Brigade website to help carers learn how to keep people that receive care safe from fire.
Sadly, around one third of those here who die or are severely injured by fire are in receipt of some form of care or support. If you are a formal (domiciliary care worker, support worker or clinician) or informal carer (family member, friend or neighbour) and are caring for someone in their own home, this new resource will help you identify fire risks and show you what you can do to reduce them. There is also more information available on the website around fire safety and prevention.
Watch the video >
WALKING ALONE? REMEMBER THESE 10 TIPS
1) Plan Your Route
Make sure you plan your route ahead of time. If you are walking in an area you are not familiar with, this can help keep you from getting lost. You will be able to walk with confidence. If you do get lost, don’t wander aimlessly, find a gas station, supermarket, or fast-food restaurant where you can ask for directions.
2) Make Sure Someone Else Knows Your Plans
Don’t go out when it is dark without telling someone, even if you are just taking the dogs out for a walk around your neighbourhood or walking home from a friend’s house nearby. It may seem paranoid, but in fact, knowing someone knows where you are can be reassuring and help you feel safe. If you fall and hurt yourself or run into trouble, and someone knows where you are, they can send help if you don’t arrive at your destination on time.
3) Always Carry Your Phone with You
Always carry your phone, but not for music or to make social calls as your walk. Your phone can be a lifeline if you see something suspicious or worse if something happens to you. Download a safety app on your phone, so you’ll be able to discreetly alert the authorities if you feel threatened or see something suspicious.
4) Avoid Suspicious People and Areas
Areas that are dark, deserted, or out-of-the-way, such as an alley or a parking lot, can be riskier than a well-lit area full of people. Stick to busy, lighted paths, to minimize the risks. Also, walk mainly in familiar places where you are known. That way, if you feel like a suspicious person is following you, you can always duck into a store you know or knock on a neighbour’s door. Avoid empty streets and pathways with thick shrubbery.
5) Keep Your Hands Free
Except for a flashlight and one of the items discussed below, keep your hands free. If you are carrying anything, put it all in one bag or backpack. This will make it easier for you to react if you notice someone following you. In a dangerous situation, carrying too many bags can keep you from moving as quickly as you can if your hands are free or if you only have one bag.
6) Carry a Non-Violent Deterrent
In addition to a flashlight, carry a non-violent deterrent such as a whistle, mace, or pepper spray. A whistle will help you alert others and call them to aid you if something is wrong. The loud noise may put off attackers, and they’ll move on to find someone else. Mace or pepper spray can give you enough time to evade a potential attacker, and in a pinch, a flashlight can be used as a weapon. Make sure you know how to use the mace or pepper spray to get its full effect.
7) Wear Reflective Clothing to Prevent Accidents
When it comes to personal safety, it’s not just about suspicious people. Areas with low visibility can be prone to accidents. Reflective clothing allows bikers and cars to see you as you walk along. A flashlight or headlight can also help drivers see you if there are dark stretches of road on your route.
8) Take a Self-Defence Class
When fighting off something as an assault, the element of surprise can work in your favour. If you regularly walk alone, take a self-defence class. You don’t have to become a black belt. In fact, it’s probably better to learn something like Krav Maga, which has been popular for self-defence. The idea is to disable your attacker enough for you to get to safety, and a class focused on self-defence will help give you those survival skills.
9) Remove Any Distractions
Keep your phone in your hand in case you need to hit the panic button on your safety app, but don’t let it distract you. When walking alone at night for exercise, music can be motivating and energizing but also distracting. You may not hear someone driving or walking up behind you. Avoid wearing headphones or talking on your phone as you walk.
10) Trust Your Gut
When walking alone at night, trust your gut. If you feel like an area or situation may be dangerous, don’t wait around to find out. Stop and scan your surroundings if you think someone is following you. If you are being followed, walk as quickly as you can to a well-lit public place. You can wait until you feel safe, or call a friend, a taxi, or an Uber to help you get safely get home at night.
Following these personal safety tips will help keep you stay safe when walking alone. Always be aware of where you are and alert to suspicious activity.
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Monday - Friday – 9.30am – 5pm
Saturday and Sunday – Closed
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